Golf Hypnotherapy (Paul Salter) - Ep.7

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, fellas. [00:00:00] Speaker B: Paul. [00:00:01] Speaker C: What's up, my man? [00:00:02] Speaker B: What's up, man? [00:00:03] Speaker A: Nothing. Thank you so much for your patience. I apologize for being a few late. [00:00:07] Speaker B: All good. We get it, man. We get it. We were. [00:00:10] Speaker C: We were about two minutes in, I was like, oh, I think Paul's gonna no show us, but he's here, so that's a great dad. [00:00:16] Speaker A: That's not my vibe. [00:00:20] Speaker B: Well, nice to virtually meet you, man. [00:00:22] Speaker A: Yeah, likewise. Where are you guys located? [00:00:25] Speaker B: Colorado. Yeah, what about you? [00:00:28] Speaker A: I'm over in Tampa, Florida, so. [00:00:31] Speaker C: So that means you get a golf all year long, is that right? [00:00:33] Speaker A: You're damn right I do. [00:00:35] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, that's awesome, man. I used to live in San Diego for about six years, and it was just. It was the best part of San Diego. You could just golf basically any time of the year, so. [00:00:47] Speaker A: I love San Diego. [00:00:49] Speaker C: It's awesome. [00:00:50] Speaker B: Although Colorado has been like 60 consistently lately, it's like prime golf weather right now. [00:00:55] Speaker A: It's kind of part of Colorado. [00:00:58] Speaker B: We're just up north, so, like, we're 25 minutes north of Denver. [00:01:01] Speaker A: Okay. [00:01:02] Speaker B: Yeah. So just in the burbs. In the burbs, yeah. My downtown living days are over, man. I'm married now, so can't live the bachelor life anymore. [00:01:12] Speaker A: I hear that downtown's a zoo. I mean, I love Colorado. I've been a few times, but. Holy cow, is it chaotic. [00:01:19] Speaker B: Yes. What have you done out here? [00:01:24] Speaker A: Been to Colorado Springs. Been up and down there doing the touristy things. And then I stayed at an Airbnb. I did like a solo trip right outside Red Rocks and just hiked, chilled, hiked some more. It was great. [00:01:36] Speaker B: Heck, yeah. Yeah. You gotta hit the mountains, man. You gotta hike and do Red Rocks. You did it the right way. Yeah. [00:01:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:01:42] Speaker A: It was fantastic. Nobody was ever out there, too. It was awesome. [00:01:45] Speaker C: Did you go to a show at Red Rocks? [00:01:47] Speaker A: No, it was off season, but I just happened to be right there. Just explored it. [00:01:51] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah, I. I mean, Red Rocks is always a good time. I think. James and I have been out there to work out a few times, and even if it's. There's not a show, like, it's just. It's a cool place to. To go hang out for a while. [00:02:01] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. [00:02:03] Speaker C: So, Paul, I have to say we have been looking forward to this conversation the moment we got this booked. We are both huge golfers, and so this is going to be mostly us just picking your brain, trying to get better at our own game, if that's okay. [00:02:16] Speaker B: Love it. [00:02:16] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:02:19] Speaker B: Cool, man. [00:02:20] Speaker C: So how did you, how did you get into this? So you're a mindset coach and a hypnotherapist. How did you get into this, this field? [00:02:27] Speaker A: Well, you gotta go back about 20, 25 years. So you gotta imagine this multi sport athlete, 5 foot 1, 110 pounds, wet, soaking wet at 16 years old. Dude has no competitive edge physically to keep up with all of his peers who are bigger, stronger, faster. All the women are taller than me. And I am a competitive, scrappy athlete, just desperate for any edge I can get. And luckily I fell in love with the weight room. Mom fed me really healthy, nutritious meals and that became a passion of mine. But I was always fascinated. It's like, why is Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Roger Federer, another idol of mine at the time? Why are they so much better than their peers, yet they practice and train roughly the same amount of time? So that seed of curiosity around what I now know as performance psychology was always there. Fortunately, I did grow. I'm six foot now, so I got there. But that seed of curiosity led me down the road of just reading, reading, reading as many books as I could around behavior change, habit formation, you know, performance or sports psychology. And I ultimately became a sports dietitian. So right out of the gate, I was fortunate enough to work at a place called IMG Academy, getting a front row seat to work with top high school, college professional and Olympic athletes who were trying to take their performance to the next level. And selfishly, I was just a sponge. You know, you're sitting amongst these incredible athletes. How do they interact with other people? How do they approach their training? So I'm learning a lot selfishly there. But what I really begun to realize from the nutrition perspective was every single athlete I worked with knew what to do from a nutrition perspective. They just weren't doing it. And they had a collection of fears, beliefs, bad habits that were just ingrained in them for so long. And that really planted a seed to build my foundation of coaching, to focus between, between the ears and what was going on in the heart. So as I shifted away from the athletics, I started taking that and applying it to, you know, more general populations, specifically men and women who were stuck in the yo yo dieting cycle. You know, they lose the same 20 to 40 pounds over and over. They know what to do. They're actually incredibly good at dieting. Don't know if I can say that on your show, but I did. Yeah, we are, totally. So yeah. The problem had nothing to do with weight loss. It was how Do I sustain the results for the long term? That's when we started digging into the beliefs, you know, am I worthy? Am I deserving, Am I capable? Is it safe to feel sexy, to stand out, to feel confident? So my whole approach became sustainable. Weight loss from the inside out. And I used that to just continue to put into practice what I was learning to help these men and women achieve sustainable results. Well, here's where the curveball comes in. About 10 years into that, I had always been strongly passionate about the game of poker. And I always told myself, one day I'll be out in Vegas for an entire World Series of Poker series. One day I'll play professionally. And I quickly realized that one day was never going to happen unless it happened today. So coaching was in a good place. I decided to pursue poker professionally. And about six months into that journey, I'm out studying, I'm out working everybody. In my opinion, I've got the coaches. Still felt like I was lighting money on fire. Okay, not quite ready to quit yet. What can I do? All right, I'll hire a coach. I'll ask for help. So I hired a mindset and performance coach. She happened to be a hypnotherapist. This is my first introduction to hypnosis in a very short amount of time. I suddenly found myself playing for more money than I thought I ever would. Earning more money from the game of poker than I ever thought I would. Yet even better, the impact she had on me as an individual was just so indescribable. It felt like a natural evolution to walk away from poker, begin fading away or phasing out my nutrition only clients, doubling down on the mindset, coaching I was doing. And then I got my credentials at hypnot. Hypnotherapist. Surrounded myself with three of the brightest, most experienced individuals in the hypnotherapy and performance space so I could continue to learn. And I haven't looked back since. [00:06:36] Speaker B: Man. [00:06:37] Speaker C: Okay, I go ahead. I want to ask questions. I'm itching to ask a million questions here, but my first question is, how does hypnotherapy play into poker? [00:06:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:47] Speaker A: So think about this. Do you know, do you know poker, like, loosely? [00:06:52] Speaker C: Yeah, we're not. [00:06:54] Speaker B: He's not very good. [00:06:54] Speaker C: That's not true. That's not true. I feel easier to read. But apart from that, I, if I. [00:07:00] Speaker A: Use terminology, you don't know, just ask me. So imagine, you know, I, it's, I'm second to act and the guy next to me is folded. I, I Raise. You know, say we're playing 2 5. So I raise it to $20, and then the guy next to me raises it to $75. On a micro level, that might feel like an attack. So, like, wait a second, I'm trying to take control of this pot. That's why I raise. And then he re raises me internally. It could be a trigger to my nervous system. And what could happen is, let's say that the emotion that's triggered is anger. In this case, anger might begin to hijack the steering wheel of my decisions and actions. I might get unnecessarily aggressive and try to forbet him or re raise him with a hand I shouldn't be doing that. Or I might clam up, play small, and just fold, fold, fold. Now I become passive and predictable and very easy to take money from. So what we can uncover is that that's a learned reaction when you feel attacked. And maybe we go back to childhood and we understand, you know, there were several moments where fights were picked or I was bullied. And that same reaction of either fighting back aggressively and getting in a ton of trouble or closing up and kind of just taking it, it shows up elsewhere in our life too. And in this case, on the poker table. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Interesting. Yeah. And I feel like if your, Your ego, right, Your. Your ego. That's why, like, you're like, all right, this guy's not gonna out outplay me or outbid me. You know, your ego gets touched. All right, that's interesting. [00:08:28] Speaker C: It's almost like just like regulating your nervous system the whole time, just making sure that you're sticking to your guns and you're, you're, you're being consistent with your strategy and not letting other people get to you. I would also imagine there's probably an element of, like, not showing your hand subconsciously. [00:08:42] Speaker A: Right. [00:08:43] Speaker C: Like, if somebody raises you and you know you've got a good hand, you're like, hey, look, I, I'm gonna take a. I'm going to take this big pot from them. And that might, you might, you know, scratch your nose or do whatever it is that people kind of read. [00:08:55] Speaker A: Yeah. And those are all, you know, physical tells that, you know, you could, could technically improve upon, be more mindful of, of course, but even in that situation, over excitement, overconfidence on the golf course, maybe you come off a back to back par or birdie, you know, depending where your, your handicap is, and you get so excited, it poses two threats. Number one, you're not used to playing this well or having all the stars align and it becomes so exciting, it's uncomfort comfortable. You can't manage your emotions or your focus. And then you self sabotage or two, let's say you and this is the most common, you string together a phenomenal front nine, you're on pace to shatter your personal best ever and you inevitably blow up on the back nine. I can tell that's relatable because it doesn't feel safe to have next level success. [00:09:39] Speaker B: Oh man. [00:09:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:40] Speaker B: I'm so glad we're talking to you, dude. Oh man. Been there. I've been there too many times. Yeah. That's funny. One thing you said, one thing you said when you went from the poker and then you actually got the mindset coach for yourself. What was it like? And then that, that kind of triggered something to kind of pursue this full time. What was it that she said like during that time that was like the most eye opening, you know, like holy crap. Like what was kind of that light bulb going off on your end? [00:10:15] Speaker A: It wasn't necessarily anything she said though. She's incredibly brilliant. I still work with her to this day. It was more my experience. So candidly, first of all, I love poker. I am meant to coach and impact people. It's not fulfilling sitting in a grungy basement casino taking people's money. Is it fun? Yes, but it's not fulfilling long term. Second, though my initial first few coaching sessions experience taught me perhaps the most important lesson, which is, you know, we are all energy. Like I'm going to get sciency for a moment. Like, you know, long ago there used to be this Newtonian model of an atom. And they used to think that an atom was like 1% energy, 99 mass. Well, as technology advances advance, they learned it was actually the opposite. Like we're 99.999, just energy. And the root derivative of the word emotion is energy in motion. So what I see with poker players and golfers all the time is they think that they can be these master compartmentalizers, that their has no impact on their ability to play their best golf. And it's just simply not true. So for me, my literal first hypnosis experience, remember I'm there just for poker. I'm there to level up on the poker table. What came up for me was, was recognizing I had repressed. My best friend died suddenly at 21. I spoke at his funeral and then I didn't go to any of the, you know, after. After party is not the right word but celebration of life because I didn't know how to deal with grief. And I just bottled up repressed. Repress. Repressed. Well, anytime. Whether you're repressing sadness, grief, anger, resentment, envy, it's energetically costly. So you're literally expending energy holding on to resentment, to grief, to anger, to shame. So for me in that moment, it was kind of an oh, shit. Like I haven't thought about my best friend in seven years since he's passed. Really, I've just repressed it and getting an opportunity to re. Experience that and work to let some of that grief and really accelerate the grieving process. It was very challenging in the moment. But within 24 to 48 hours, the lightness, the ease, the surge in energy, and the reason I keep harping on energy is the crux of my work is helping people who know what to do but don't do it. So anyone who's committed to achieving a goal understands what they need to do. And if not, you can hire a technical coach or you can go to Google or ChatGPT, but when you do know what to do and you don't do it, it's not a lack of knowledge problem, it's a mindset problem, it's an emotional problem. We need to free up that energy so you can break through and execute to get to the next level. [00:12:57] Speaker B: Ma', am, that I couldn't agree with you more. I think we, we've all experienced that. Like you said, most people do you think you can, you know, just be like, all right, I'm gonna go, you know, get off of work or I'm gonna go do this, go play some golf and just try to relax. Well, if you got stuff going on up here and you think you're gon good round and have a good time, it's very hard, especially in golf, like hoops or some, or the gym. That's different. That's different, you know, but man, that is, that speaks to me like, specifically, what's kind of some basic, like tools like meditations or what's kind of some basic stuff someone can do to kind of cope with that? [00:13:38] Speaker A: Yeah, there's, there's definitely a few levels or tiers, if you will. So I get harped on all the time because I'm a little polarizing. My opinion, like breathwork, positivity, grounding into nature. Like all of those are great, let me be very clear. But they're surface level tactics in the moment that absolutely are skills that should be developed and fine tuned and used. However, at the end of the day, if you're relying on being positive or your breath to be the difference maker. From going to, you know, a 15 to a 5 handicap, you're very much misguided in your expectations. So those are surface level strategies. You know, as an individual, what you can do for those of you listening is you need to start getting curious. And what I mean by that is you need some type of reflective process, whether you call it meditation, journaling, breath, work on your own, not on the course we're talking about, that allows you to connect inward with your most authentic self. And it's in those moments of silence and solitude, you can begin to bring honest awareness around the things you are or are not doing, hindering you from achieving your goals. And you can be. If you can really accept and understand that all of the emotions, beliefs, fears and behaviors that currently plague you are learned, well, then you can understand they can also be unlearned. So through identifying what's your biggest sabotaging behavior, for example, and getting curious about, when did I learn that? Where did I learn that? Who taught me that you can go down that rabbit hole of reflection to begin dismantling and breaking that pattern of behavior, separating yourself from it. And through that process, you get back that energy to build a new pattern of behavior. [00:15:25] Speaker B: Interesting. [00:15:26] Speaker C: That's heavy. [00:15:28] Speaker B: It is heavy. [00:15:29] Speaker C: It's crazy. Well, and my mind is kind of going to. Obviously people can go to a specialist like yourself or someone else, but I do a lot of meditation. I've always been taught that, like in a meditative practice, you should try and clear your mind as much as possible. How do. How would one kind of go down the route of trying to uncover things about themselves that maybe they don't know, they don't understand, and they don't really know how to, like, backward reason where your trauma comes from and why it's affecting you? Because that's tricky. [00:16:03] Speaker A: You know, it definitely can be. But I would also offer another opinion that maybe it's not as challenging as one might make it out to be. And what I mean by that is every single day, there are billions sources of people in media that compete for our attention. And the challenge we all run into, myself included, is we are so bombarded with these things, competing for our attention, that we start outsourcing our thoughts and our feelings and our choices to things that aren't actually having our best interest in mind. We start to lose ourself. So the reason I come back to this, having this reflection process, I think it's better said as a practice of silence and solitude, it allows you to block out or turn off all of the noise and negativity around you to connect with who you really are. And a quote I absolutely love is the voice of your subconscious mind is silence. Yet so many of us are afraid to be alone, to sit in silence, to be rather than do so when it comes to, you know, back to your question then, Quentin. It's like you've got to learn to sit in silence, to be. All of the answers are there. Like, if you're really honest with yourself and you've cultivated this safe space to reflect, you know, there are 10 things you should be doing that you're not, or 10 things you're not doing that you should to achieve your goal. People know it's. They outsource their. Their information, their opinions and energy to somebody else as a way of numbing from that, as a way is escaping. It's an avoidance mechanism, a coping mechanism. [00:17:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, go ahead. [00:17:39] Speaker C: Go ahead, James, Go ahead. I was just gonna say there's. There's a multitude of modalities that you can use when you're like, reflecting. I know James is really big into journaling. I. I do my meditation. Would you recommend doing something where you're sitting in silence? [00:17:53] Speaker B: Of course. [00:17:53] Speaker C: Where you're. You're kind of writing out your thoughts? Or is it more of just like being in your own thoughts without writing, without thinking, without just. [00:18:02] Speaker A: I am a huge fan of journaling. I mean, maybe I'm bi. It just works for me, but there's so much, you know, even in a whole different conversation benefit of just writing things down. It strengthens your ability to articulate, speak clearly, communicate clearly. It strengthens self awareness. I love journaling. If you don't feel called to writing, at least, whether it's meditation, breath work, or just put your phone out of the freaking room and sit in silence for five minutes as a starting place. [00:18:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I was gonna say, I think we're so, like, there's so much pros and cons to technology, like pros that we get to do this. Right. But con is like, it's so accessible to access to everything. Right. And I think for individuals like us that are hungry to learn, always trying to learn, trying to, you know, learn what else is going on and new stuff. Well, I think that can. To your point, Paul, is it will kind of inhibit you to be like, hey, just be quiet. You know what you need to do? It's okay. Like, I think that's a really strong statement because as much as it can be helpful to you know, learn something new. Like you said, I think we all kind of know what needs to happen. Your inner voice will be able to tell you and kind of direct you down that path. But we just get so distracted, man, and we're all guilty of it. It's just hard. It's hard. [00:19:22] Speaker A: Here, you ready for this? This is something I just read maybe two weeks ago, so I'm still chewing on it. But the quote is, an intelligent man is always learning. A wise man is focused on unlearning. And really the crux of this is, is, you know, we are. We have all of these beliefs, these behaviors, these thoughts impressed upon us at a young age. And it's wonderful to learn. Of course, we have to continue to evolve and build new skills, better skills, take in different perspectives. But at the end of the day, we all come pre programmed with all of this, all of these outdated behaviors that, yes, they served us as children and in our younger years, but as adults trying to thrive when we're wired to survive, we've really got to work on the unlearning and the letting go of some of the bad behaviors, beliefs, and limiting things that keep us stuck. [00:20:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Was that a Snoop Dogg that said that? [00:20:13] Speaker A: I think so. [00:20:17] Speaker C: He was just high when he said that, bro. He was just forgetting everything. That's. He's just justifying it. That's hilarious. No, I think that's really, I think that's great. And I think that that can be applied to every stage of life. Like, as you get older and you start to figure out like, you know, material objects just aren't worth really anything, you should be focusing on your family and your health. I think, I think that takes time to learn, you know, and that takes. Because we grow up thinking that we have to get a good job and we have to make this money and we have to have a nice house and. But as you get older, you, you start to realize like that's, that's a behavior that, you know, might serve its purpose at one point in one stage of life. But as you get older, it just, it kind of goes to the wayside and you should be focusing on what's really important. So. Okay, so. So the energy thing is, is great and kind of on like going inward and figuring out like what your traumas are and how they affect you kind of plays into your golf game. Now. How does that translate into, to a swing and how does that, how does that translate to actually knocking off strokes on the course? [00:21:21] Speaker A: Yeah. So I'm going to borrow a concept from somebody much smarter and more experienced. His name is Timothy Galway, and he brought. The first book he wrote was called the Inner game of Tennis, but then he wrote a version called the Inner Game of Golf. And he basically talks about the conscious mind and the subconscious mind as self1 and self2. Self1 is all of your thinking us right now. This rational level, critical thinking, logical conversation. And self two is just the body. You know, your body knows how to breathe. And the way that I tie this into golf is you put a million reps in like your body already knows how to swing perfectly for you to execute the shot you desire. When we create this mental interference up here, it clouds or makes our ability to access all of that skill and all of those repetitions much harder to access. So we get in our own way by creating this mental interference when, again, you already know how to swing the damn club. That's why you're a scratch golfer on the range and a 25 on the course. So we have to start looking at what are the sources of that mental interference. And that's where, you know, I always jokingly say that the golf course has no shortage of physical hazards. There's bunkers, there's water, there's ob, blah, blah, blah. But there's also plenty of mental and emotional hazards. You know, if you're playing a competition and your competitor in your playing group, you know, just hits a birdie or is on a hot streak or he out drives you by 30 yards, do you feel threatened? Does that ego come into play again? Do you hit a poor shot and suddenly anger is the dominant emotion that takes over? So golf is nothing more than a man mirror of you and your own personal development journey. You don't only get angry on the golf course. It happens everywhere. Golf might happen to trigger it, but my work then is to get to the core of what I call. These are just patterns. They're programs, destructive mindset programs. When, why? And how did you learn to react to X, y and z that way? And when we can begin to bring awareness, we can begin to unlearn and work. So, for example, you know, it's talked about all the time. You know what I know? You know, first tea jitters, I'm nervous, I'm anxious on the first tee. [00:23:17] Speaker C: See? [00:23:18] Speaker A: Why? Well, I want to hit a good shot. Why? Well, I want the people to think I'm a good golfer. Why? Well, I care about their opinion. It all comes down to these fears of not wanting to be judged, rejected, or abandoned. We want people to like us because we're as humans wired to belong, to fit in, to feel connected and accepted. But what happens is when we let that belief or those thoughts dominate, it's. It's cloudy up here and we can't access that swing. And you guys know as well as I do a tenth of a degree off, and that ball is 30 yards that way. And that's all it takes. So we have to dig into the human himself. Like you bring your whole self to the golf course. So we've got to address all of you, you know, your limiting beliefs, your desire to people please or impress others. We got to be able to calibrate and turn that down or up on demand. [00:24:05] Speaker B: So it's so funny you said that because I played last week for like a. With. With a partner for my corporate. My corporate gig. First. First whole. Dude, I whiffed it. I completely missed the ball. I have not ever. I've never done that. Never done that. And I, I told Quinn about it and he was dead. But I was just like, what the. And but to your point, it was like I had so much going on in here. I came straight from a meeting. Like, I was just, just so worked up. And I wanted to play well in front of this partner. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to do, you know, all those things. I think for me personally, like, because I'm such a competitive person and I know what I am capable of and, and I've hit so many good shots. And so when I walk up to the ball and. Or if I hit some bad shots, I'm like, I get more mad at myself because I'm like, dude, you. What are you doing? [00:25:01] Speaker C: Like, what are you doing? [00:25:02] Speaker B: And, and sometimes you look like you've never picked up a golf club in your life. [00:25:06] Speaker C: But like, my, my whole thing is, Is why does that, why is it exacerbated in golf? Because like, James is a very athletic. If he's having a bad day or if he, you know, just doesn't feel it, but he goes and plays basketball, he's gonna crush. Like, he's still gonna. The ball's still gonna go in the hoop. There's still those fine motor skills that you have to harness. But golf, Golf is just. It is such a mind game the entire time. It's almost like you can never really rely on being athletic. It's just. It's constantly in your head. And I'm just curious why. Why that is in golf. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Cause you just nailed it without probably recognizing it. In basketball, you're so non stop. You don't have time to be in your head. [00:25:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:51] Speaker A: In golf a four hour round is really like five to eight minutes of golf. You have plenty of time to be in your head to think, to see, to ruminate and ruminate and ruminate. And that was, that is what exemplifies like if you're not working on yourself, you're not going to be the best golfer you can be. [00:26:08] Speaker B: Yeah. So how would you say like, so like I'm, I, at one point I was like a 10, then I had my kid, now I'm like a 12 to 15. I mean who knows? [00:26:18] Speaker C: He's a 20, he's a 20. [00:26:21] Speaker B: The way I played last week. Yeah, I'm like, I can see I probably shot a hundred. Who knows. What would you say like the split is from like you said, your, your body knows the physical aspects, the reps, stuff like that. So like, how would you say, kind of like what the split is, is you know, you pair, you know, two, three range sessions a week or two, you know, two range sessions and then you know the, the mental side of the game instead of another physical. Like I don't know if that, that is clear enough, but. [00:26:55] Speaker A: Yeah, gotcha. Let me know if I don't answer. But it's 100% and 100% and what I mean by that is like if you are truly committed to being, let's just use scratch because that's most people's goals or at least feels good. Sounds good. Like you need to have a dedicated, consistent practice routine. Now for you, that might look like twice a week this season because you have a young kid. Congratulations by the way. I've got a 14 month old. [00:27:17] Speaker B: Yeah, nice. [00:27:18] Speaker A: Yeah, that's fun. But you're in it. You're in it. Yeah. So the practice is non negotiable to be candid. Like that's bare minimum low hanging fruit. You know, if you're truly serious, you should have a putting mat at home. You should have an access, an opportunity to hit balls fairly consistently throughout the week. And you should be playing 18 holes a week as often as you can. The mental aspect, additionally, it's a daily thing. So whether that's, you know, coaching, you might have a different coaching cadence if you're working with the mindset and performance coach. But working on yourself and your mindset looks like meditation, looks like journaling, it looks like visualization, guided self hypnosis. So for example, for me, you know, I've played my, my home course a million times in my mind because I'm just Trying to continue to ingrain what it feels like and the experience and the emotions of hitting one good shot after the next. I have a daily self hypnosis audio recording that I've created too, that I listen to once or twice a day that's tailored to some of the beliefs and the goals that I'm working towards. But the mental game is, it's non stop. You always have to be working on yourself. It just might look a little different, a little different every day and a little different depending on your season of life. [00:28:29] Speaker B: Totally. And is that like consistently still establishing like the same shot routine, pre shot routine, same range routine, before around, like is that still trying to apply that, those same key factors or are you kind of mixing that up as well. [00:28:45] Speaker A: As much as you can? Like I'm, I think having a pre shot routine. Absolutely. That's non negotiable. A warm up routine as well. Like I'll hear it all the time, like, oh, I didn't play well because I didn't warm up. Dude, that was your choice. Like, that's just self sabotage. You have an excuse to fall back on. Like you could have warmed up, you just chose not to. Or like, oh, I had too many beers, drinks. Okay, cool. I'm all for having a good time, but if you're serious about getting better 9 out of every 10 rounds, you can't be wasted. You, you just have this excuse to fall back on. So I pre shot routine, a warmup routine, and an after round reflection routine truly need to be non negotiable if you're serious about next level success. [00:29:25] Speaker C: Love it. [00:29:25] Speaker B: Love it. Go ahead. [00:29:28] Speaker C: I was gonna say it sounds like a lot of what we talked about so far is mindset and then you just touched on something that I, I'm really curious about, which is obviously hypnosis. What would you say the difference is? And how would you apply them differently to your golf game? [00:29:47] Speaker A: The difference between hypnosis and mindset? [00:29:50] Speaker C: Yeah, because a mindset I would just imagine is like you going into it and you, you feel like you're confident, you've kind of addressed, you know, your parasympathetic. Parasympathetic nervous system. And you're, you know, you're ready to go out there and swing the club. Whereas hypnosis almost feels in my mind at least like subconscious. And it's something that you're not really thinking about too much. You're just, it's just in the background. [00:30:11] Speaker A: Yeah. So let's talk what hypnosis is and this might help Cater even more questions for clarity. But, you know, many people, they hear hypnosis, they think, I'm gonna dangle a pocket watch, get you to cluck like a chicken, put you to sleep. Or they've seen hypnosis on a cruise ship at their high school graduation. And technically, those are all forms of hypnosis, unlike anything I do. And I always like to lead with, you know, hypnosis is not magic. It's not mind control. It's not brainwashing. It's a deep state of relaxation with the intention to make positive changes. Even more. It's a natural state of mind that both of you, me, everyone listening right now has already been in multiple times today. It's the same state of mind you're in when you transition from sleeping to waking, when you're caught up in your favorite book, podcast, TV show, or when you find those flow states on the course or in your work. So I say that to normalize it, to remind you it's much more familiar than you think. It's safe. Now, when we go to a hypnotic state intentionally, two big benefits occur. Number one, anybody serious about being their best has a very harsh, negative inner critic. That judgmental voice that says, you know, Paul, you suck. Paul, that'll never work, Paul, why bother? We quiet all of that noise and negativity. And then two, as you said, Quinn, like, we connect directly with your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind influences 95% of what you do every day. It's home to your memories, your emotions, and your beliefs. So like I alluded to earlier, all these challenges we've talked about are nothing more than learned. I use hypnosis to uncover the when, the why, the how you learn to care what people think to the point it's so paralyzing and catastrophic. So then we can go unlearn it and build the belief in the behaviors you need to become that best version of you. That help answer your question, give you some clarity? [00:32:07] Speaker C: Yeah, no, totally. I'm. I'm just like, thinking like, okay, how do I apply this in my own life? You know what I mean? Because, like, now I'm like, you're talking and I'm thinking, okay, I'm gonna make a recording of myself and listen to it every day. And I think, obviously this can be applied to a million things, not just golf. So I'm just trying to. I'm trying to piece everything in my own head. But when you're. When you're self hypnotizing yourself, are you just trying to clear your mind or like what's your thought process? Are you focusing on each word? Like kind of what is mindset in that environment? [00:32:36] Speaker A: So there's a million and one ways to do this. I will just tell you what I've learned. So my mentor, her name's Grace Smith, she actually works with. Oh, why am I going to forget his name? He won the Rocket Mortgage Open two years ago. Not Cam Smith, Cam Davis, he's Australian. [00:32:50] Speaker B: Anyway, Cameron Young or. [00:32:52] Speaker A: No, not young, Cam Davis. I think. Okay, I think don't. Obviously I might be a word or two off. Anyway, she's my mentor. She's who I did all my credentialing through. She's great. So she's got this, you know, trademark copyright approach of self hypnosis. But what I'm getting at is like for me it involves some, some intentional breath work, some counting down, some visual elements. Just like a pre shot routine, you rinse and repeat over and over and that becomes the cue that gets you to anchor down into that deeply relaxed state. From there then it's, you know, Turn to page 70 for this journey, turn to page 30. You know, it might be you want to put all of your goals self recorded on repeat for two to three minutes or you might want to visualize yourself playing three, six, nine or 18 holes. But the initial part of getting yourself into that relaxed state should be something that is consistent. You can get there 50 million different ways. I like my breath, I like numbers. I like to visualize going downstairs sometimes as well. Just you know, it's metaphorically you're going down and then I can choose my own journey. So my recording personally is designed with that in mind. And then I'm, I'm harping on like my beliefs and my goals, what I'm working on. [00:34:01] Speaker C: Are you ever addressing in your own mind some of your fears and like what's hold held you back and just trying to like this is what kind of gives me the jitters on the first te and then just consciously letting that melt away, those emotions kind of melt away. Are you addressing kind of what you've identified as what's kind of held you back in the past or is that just not even a part of it? [00:34:22] Speaker A: I love your word choice. I'm melting away. It's visceral, it's invoking senses, that's, that's key. Yeah. So for me personally, I have a couple coaches candidly, so I'll do a lot of that deep work, work with them and then the integration and application process, I take the lead in, I'M a big journaler, like I mentioned, so I'll confront those fears, those beliefs, those patterns of behavior that aren't helping me in my journaling and get very curious there. And for me, I almost feel like that act of really writing and sitting with it gets me to a place of acceptance. And the reason I say that word acceptance with such intention is psychology 101. I'll teach you what but what you resist persists. So if you deny, avoid or don't give attention to the parts of yourself that you hate, repress, dislike, they keep coming back bigger, better, stronger. But if you accept, like right now, I perform poorly on the first tee because I care what other people think. And you just learn to sit with that and say it over and over again. Once you're able to just to sit with and acknowledge the truth and accept it, it's infinitely easier to let it go. And then you can use whatever that polar opposite of I struggle in the first T to build a new belief and start integrating that during your self hypnosis. [00:35:34] Speaker C: And then one last question, James. I'll let you go. I promise you. Timing. So are you doing this because I know that your brain is in different stages when you wake and then right before you go to sleep and I know that you're a little bit more susceptible to, you know, accepting some of these hypnotic states or are you doing it right before you go on the course or kind of what's your timing? Maybe all three, who knows? [00:35:56] Speaker A: Good answer. All the above in some capacity. So you're right. Like right when we wake up, right before we go to bed, are we kind of still in that theta brainwave production which is that hypnosis state, which is where we are most open minded, suggestible and have a malleable mind to really embed these new beliefs. So I love that at least one of those times a day should be where you do. Whether again you can call it self hypnosis, meditation or visualization in particular, you're most likely to really find the biggest bang for your buck there. With all my golfers though, like I. I have remind me I'll send it to you guys after it. It's totally free. But I call it this your play your best round audio. It's a 14 minute guided hypnosis audio very visualization esque designed to get you in the mind to play your best round. So I absolutely encourage whether the morning of or in the car before you go onto the property. You're listening to that. [00:36:50] Speaker B: Love it. Yeah, I need that. [00:36:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll send it to you. [00:36:54] Speaker C: I thought for sure James was going to start writing something down. I'm like, James is taking this in. [00:36:59] Speaker B: I'm re watching this for sure. I'm curious, man. Like, your. Your story kind of originated because of, you know, the height, which when you said you were 5:1, Quinn was like, oh, hell yeah. Short king. [00:37:13] Speaker C: Let's go. I'm still five one. I never got to six foot. So count your blessings, bro. [00:37:21] Speaker B: There's time. Dude. Surgeries. Surgeries are advancing every day. You never know. Well, we'll see. [00:37:27] Speaker C: I gotta make some more money. Yeah. What. [00:37:30] Speaker B: What motivates you now, man? Like, you, you know, you're. You got the kiddo now. You. You. You know, you're scaling your business. You're. You're doing all your stuff. Like, what. What's kind of the. The motivating factor at this stage of life? [00:37:43] Speaker A: I mean, it's definitely my son, a thousand percent. I know that's probably the cliche, top of mind answer many expect, but I'll elaborate like my son 100%, because for me, I have an opportunity to show him what's possible. So if I am modeling what it's like to play small or to put everybody else's goals above mine, that's not fair to him. So it's a really unique opportunity, and it's. It's challenging, you know, how does dad go all in on his goals? What does it mean to be obsessed, delusionally optimistic, and committed to achieving his goals and still be the best father he can be? Which is interesting because, like, how do you define that? Society will tell you. I don't want society's definition. Society breeds ordinary, normal, which is average, overweight, broke, anxious. I don't want any part of that. So really, my son is the motivating force in pushing me to be the best I can be because it's. It allows him. It gives him permission to be the best he can be. And that just creates a massive domino effect to positively influence as many people as possible. [00:38:46] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:38:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:38:47] Speaker B: And it shows. [00:38:49] Speaker C: Oh, sorry, James. I keep interrupting. I get. I'm really curious. I just want to get in. [00:38:53] Speaker A: I know, dude. [00:38:53] Speaker B: I know. It's great. [00:38:54] Speaker C: I don't have my own kid, so I steal James's whenever I get a chance. And, like, I'm obsessed with my nephew. And. Yeah, I'm. I'm somebody who just is constantly, like, working on themselves, and I believe in personal growth at every level, and I love it. And having James's son, I'm like, how can I make him the best version of him? And, you know, I'm always sending James, like, silly things. [00:39:14] Speaker A: Are you. [00:39:14] Speaker C: Do you do anything with your son specifically where you're, like, speaking to him in a specific way or using specific words or, like. Like, I. I don't want to say that you're hypnotizing your son, but are you doing anything to kind of suggest to him how to be, you know, calm and maybe the best version of himself or something along those lines? I'm just curious. [00:39:35] Speaker A: Well, if you ever want to be a dad, I can already tell you'll be a great one, because that's an awesome question. Thank you. Yeah. Really, really good. So. Absolutely. But fun fact first, I don't think I explicitly said it, but when we talk about. I talked about, like, you know, the unlearning and whatnot, the first seven years of our life, we're more or less walking around in a hypnotic state. Like, we're primarily producing theta brainwaves. So just know that that's why we're so malleable. And we consciously and unconsciously pick our parents feeling states, beliefs and behaviors and whatnot. So he is. Yeah, he literally is like a sponge. Like that analogy couldn't be more true for me. Yeah, I mean, a thousand percent. I'm capitalizing on. Like I used to tell him, and I still tell him anytime, you know, kid's gonna cry and be uncontrollable. Crying during peers, they can't express themselves. So just starting to verbally say, can you find your breath? Can you find your breath? Modeling deep breaths, that's something I do often. I only have my son 50% of the time his mom and I aren't together. So I really capitalize every time I'm with him, a spiel of positive affirmations. And he will probably one day laugh when he can cognizantly recognize it. But I always tell him, you know, you're so strong, you're so confident, you're amazing, you're patient, you're kind, you're smart, you're creative. Like clockwork all the time. Especially when I'm putting him to bed at night and first thing in the morning. And it's just a way to get that messaging in there to be that place of safety for him. [00:40:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I think the words for affirmation and just like, if he. If he grows up thinking he can take on the world and do whatever he wants, I mean, what. What an impact that does to his self confidence. And like anyone tells him no that he can't do this. He's just gonna brush it off, be like, well, my dad said I could, so boom. [00:41:16] Speaker C: Absolutely. [00:41:17] Speaker B: That's awesome, man. [00:41:18] Speaker C: I also feel like at that age too, it's perfect timing to like get them to learn how to control their, their, their nervous system. And I think you touched on at the very beginning, like you like find your breath, like learn how to breathe. You know, as children were, we were never taught that, you know, which is kind of sucks, you know, our generation. I mean, I'm 35, James is 36. So we're probably, I don't know, I'm not sure how you, how old you. [00:41:39] Speaker A: Are, Paul, but I'm 34. [00:41:41] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean the fact that we weren't taught that is kind of crazy in my mind. So to have the opportunity to teach the children is like, it's beautiful. I love it. I really do. [00:41:51] Speaker B: And a little more about your story, man. Like, it sounds like you were kind of on this, you know, the sports science side for the, for the longest time. So you weren't necessarily in like the corporate grind. Right? So I would love to learn a little bit more about like what, what your story has been your come up on, on this and why you're pursuing this as well. [00:42:11] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. I can't work for other people, man. It just doesn't vibe. So I, I've had, I've had one full, one real nine to five corporate job ever or two. Excuse me. I worked at IMG Academy, which is, if you're not familiar with that, it's a big elite training high school training ground for college, professional Olympics. That was great. Had an incredible mentor, taught me so much. She also worked my ass into the ground big time. So that was the kind of the first pit stop. And I'd already had my coaching business at the time, but then I also worked for a company called bodybuilding.com. this was, yeah, pre Amazon dominating supplements when they were the major player in the space. So I was the lead nutrition writer and editor for a couple years there and then I did some consulting and freelancing for them. I taught a couple classes at Northern Arizona University, some nutrition classes and advanced human performance for a couple of years. That was started to coincide with my poker and then like I said, coaching has been going on. This is year 17 for me and that's just continued to grow and you know, I've podcasted since 2018 and written a couple books. I've got one coming out in a couple weeks and just I like to learn and then find a creative way to share it with as many people as possible. [00:43:25] Speaker C: No, that's. That's awesome, man. I had a corporate job for a number of years, and about two years ago, I quit to start my own company. So I can't, I can't stand having a boss shout out to all my managers, who are probably not listening to this. [00:43:41] Speaker B: But. [00:43:42] Speaker C: No, man, I love that. I guess. I know you also work with entrepreneurs. How much different is that than working with golfers? Like, is it kind of similar or is it the approach? Completely different. [00:43:55] Speaker A: So if you're listening right now, and you two as well, if you think your background or story is incredibly unique and you're a challenging case, I'm here to tell you you're wrong. You're not a special stoke, like, and I don't mean that to be rude. It's just like we're, we're as human beings, we're all wired similarly. Do we have different challenges, programs, beliefs that are outdated and need to be addressed? Of course. But whether it's the golf course or entrepreneurship, again, they're both just mirrors of you and your personal development journey. So these two populations you named, like entrepreneurs, high level executives, and golfers, they're wired quite similarly in that most of them, I don't want to generalize, are type A, ocd, Go, go, go. Tenacity, ambition, or incredibly high. So I love that because I speak that same language. That's my vibe, my pace. But at the end of the day, it's really just. [00:44:45] Speaker C: It's a. [00:44:45] Speaker A: It's an identity transformation. And your identity is composed first and foremost with the beliefs you hold about yourself, life, the world. And I always throw money in there as well. And we got to get to. You know, a belief is a lens through which you see the world. It's a filter around how you make decisions and take action. So we gotta get into the beliefs before we can have the positive changes in your self talk. Your word choice, your behaviors, your results, and then this new identity that we're creating. [00:45:14] Speaker C: And what do you like when you're working with an entrepreneur? What. What are like, the things that hold them back? Is it fear, typically, or. [00:45:22] Speaker A: Yeah, so fear of success, fear of standing out. Most people think that's silly and irrational, and all fear is irrational. But that's probably the biggest obstacle I help my clients overcome. Even people who on paper look like wildly successful, they feel. They still feel fear standing out or getting to that next level. And of course, then there's the fear of judgment, rejection, Abandonment, embarrassment, failure. But really it all comes back to, in some unique way, do I believe I am worthy, I am deserving, and I am capable of success, of money, of love, of attention, whatever it is. But those are usually the core tenants that need to be addressed. It's just the surface level manifestations might come across as performance anxiety, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, procrastination, and inability to lead, delegate, or communicate effectively. [00:46:19] Speaker C: Yeah, I do not struggle with going to the next level mentally or wanting to be successful. I just suck at marketing. I think that's my biggest hole. I don't know if you have any tips or tricks, help me with that. [00:46:32] Speaker A: Well, that story right there doesn't seem very helpful. [00:46:38] Speaker B: I think those are just growing pains of, I mean, I think it's just, you know, as entrepreneurs, you just, you, there's just so many growing pains. Right. And you don't know what you don't know. And I, I, I. We try not to look at like, you know, us failing in certain areas. It's just like, hey, we learned. This is just part of, I mean, never done this before, taking a leap of faith, you know, I still have a corporate job, so I'm, you know, I'm, I'm not able to be in it the day to day like Quinn is. But I see like the grind that he puts in. I see everything that he's investing and stuff like that and, and we believe in it so much that I'd like to think that, you know, it is going to pay off. And you know, what's the oldest saying is hey, if you do what you love, you won't work a day in your life. Right. So I think it will come with time. It just, it's hard when, you know, we live in a society that you, you want results right away, you want success, you want this, you want that, but you also want it for yourself selfishly. Right. And I think that's okay, you know? [00:47:39] Speaker A: Well, the best of the best. The reason that they separate themselves from everybody else is that relentless belief in themselves. No one else is going to believe in you, so you've got to maintain that belief. [00:47:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Have you, have you always been geared that way? It sounds like you have, man. [00:47:53] Speaker A: No, I struggled, but I mean, inwardly, yes, but I think my actions were incongruent. For a while. I would play small, I would dim my own light. I lacked confidence in, I had no problem being the big fish in a small pond, but I struggled mightily as the small fish in a big pond for a while. And that took a lot of work. You know, I credit my coach with all the credit in the world for helping me break through to that. But for a while, no, it was like, again, you know, my close peers, people I was familiar with, I could be that top dog, you know, my best friend group. And I will always joke like I'm the biggest asshole of the group because I love and I care and I'm just candid with them. I can do that. But I would struggle to bring that same natural authenticity to every aspect of my life until I started to dig in and understand, like, there was some concern about how I'd be perceived. Was I good enough? Did I belong in these bigger rap ponds, so to speak. Speak. [00:48:44] Speaker C: That's interesting. Yeah. And success is so subjective. And I think one thing that kind of dilutes it in our own mind is to your point earlier, like, looking at social media, being on our phones, like, we see these people who are out there and they're absolutely crushing it. And so in our minds, we're like, oh, well, if. If we're not at that level, then we're not successful. But really, that's not necessarily the case. Like, if you can pay your bills and. And you can spend time with your family, like that, in my opinion, is the most successful state for anybody to be in. It's just a matter of being able to recognize that and appreciate it and be grateful. Do you do any sort of, like, gratitude practices? Like, is that a part of your program at all? [00:49:24] Speaker A: Absolutely. So I've conditioned myself over 12 years of working on it. When it's first thing, when my alarm goes off, I'm finding three things I'm grateful for. [00:49:32] Speaker C: Cool. [00:49:33] Speaker A: While I'm still laying in bed. And then when I begin my journaling practice, I write down five more things like clockwork. Yeah, but what. Where I've evolved over the years is, you know, there's definitely some days where it's just getting it done to check a box, challenging myself to really feel it for a moment before I write the next one. [00:49:52] Speaker B: What's a. What's a day? What's a day to day look like for you, Paul? Like, I imagine just because. Just from listening to you and knowing your success and it. It's like, I have a feeling you're very consistent in your routine. [00:50:06] Speaker A: So it's a interesting, timely question. Like I mentioned, I have my son half the time, and my schedule is night and day different whether or not I have him or not. So when I don't have him, you know, up at 4:15, I said. And I go up before 15, I'll go to the gym, I'll get a workout in, and then it's usually 7 to 9:30 or 10 is my deep focus, what I call my get shit done time. I'm either podcasting, writing, learning, and that's what I do. My journaling and my daily read training too. And then it's on to just calls galore, you know, whether it's coaching calls, podcasts, sales calls, whatever it may be. But then when I transition to my son, you know, at least at this stage, there's been periods where it's unpredictable when he's going to get up and sometimes he's up so early and I got to put him back to bed a few times in the night, or he's up at 5:30, but he's still tired, he won't go back in his crib. So I can't count on that morning time anymore. So one of my beliefs I've had to break through is I only do my best work in the morning. Well, that's not sustainable. So I'm literally in the process to last like four or five months. Once I put him down at, you know, 7:30, 8:00 clock at night, I actually will go work for two or two and a half more hours and that becomes now my deep protected work. So I am very structured, meticulous. I write out my days to dos and what I'm doing kind of every hour in my journal every day. It just really does look pretty, almost like flipped backwards between the. Whether I have him or not. [00:51:30] Speaker B: Yep. Yeah, I, I think developing an A routine with the kiddo is just like such a challenge and juggling all that for sure. [00:51:39] Speaker A: Yeah, it shook me for a little bit. I've got a wonderful nanny and she's right out there right now who is so flexible, fortunately. And I work, you know, I work from home so I can pop out between calls, spend time with him, which is fantastic. It's. It definitely took some getting used to and I'm still fine tuning it because what's most important to me is I. I stay aligned. Like, we were talking about success, Quinn, and I love success and defining and for me, part of that is just taking aligned action. What feels true and authentic to me and like, I know my passions are, you know, creating and learning. So I like to write, I like to podcast, and then I love to coach. So how can I make sure I'm still able to do those and take care of the most important person which is myself, which allows me to best take care of my son, my clients, my work. [00:52:20] Speaker B: What about. [00:52:22] Speaker C: Oh, no, go ahead, James. [00:52:23] Speaker B: I was gonna say what about for fun, man. Like you're, you're constantly grinding. You're doing your thing. But like, what's, what's. Like, do you make time to kind of have some fun in the life as well? [00:52:34] Speaker A: Yes. I'll challenge you. I don't like the word grinding. I did. I used to be all that. But Tim Grover, Michael Jordan's performance coach, if you ever watched the Last Dance or read his book, he said something once that really shook me, and it was like, what happens if you just keep grinding? A stone turns into nothing. I don't want to keep grinding. I want to sustain my success. So there's got to be strategic rest, deep focus work paired with deep rest and rejuvenation. So, you know, obviously I love to golf. I might. I try to get out there as much as I can. I got a sauna and a cold plunge at a home that I absolutely love. And then sick. Yeah, I'm a big sports fan. Three plus decades of a struggling Redskins fan over here. But we're doing the best we can. But I mean, I love to watch sports, be around it. And then, you know, my girlfriend and I do so many fun things just to stay active and explore. So I'm always something I struggled with for a while. But I'm doing a much better job making time for fun, putting it on my calendar first and living my life. Life before my work. [00:53:33] Speaker B: Damn. [00:53:34] Speaker A: Not perfect. Let me stress that some work in progress, but the intentions are. [00:53:39] Speaker C: When you're working with a. A client, do you ever like suggest that they kind of hone in on their own fitness as kind of a tool that they can use in their arsenal to get better at whatever it is, whether it be, I mean, obviously golf is athletics, but just kind of being able to, to calm the mind and be able to be resilient in, you know, certain states. Do you ever suggest they go into, you know, like you said, cold plunge and sauna. I've got a cold plunge outside. That's the hardest thing that I do all day almost. You know what I mean? [00:54:13] Speaker A: Can be. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, fit. I always say fitness is your gateway to building a strong mindset. Fitness, it should be non negotiable. [00:54:21] Speaker C: Now. [00:54:21] Speaker A: It doesn't have to be seven days a week. It can be five. It can be three. Different season, different personalities, of course, but like, if you want to be the best of the best, Software engineer, public speaker, whatever, like lawyer, real estate agent. You got to take care of your fitness. Fitness is your, your generator, your energy maker, you absolutely non negotiable. [00:54:38] Speaker C: Yeah, 100%. Does it make somebody more suggestible in your experience? I don't know. I'm just trying to think like I, I would imagine because I know that suggestibility kind of varies and I've, I've tried to look into whether or not like more intelligent people are more suggestible or less intelligent or lower IQ people are more suggestible. It doesn't seem like there's a lot of evidence suggesting that it really matters. It's just a matter of like somebody willing to go into that state and be able to like buy into what they're being told. I would imagine that somebody. Okay, does that make sense? And I would imagine that somebody who's like kind of dialed into their fitness, they're a little bit more like, yeah, I want to believe what this guy's telling me. I want to achieve this ultimate end state because end goal this in mindset and they're a little bit more susceptible to what you're trying to. [00:55:26] Speaker A: So maybe, maybe not. And what I mean is I'm working with a burnt out overwhelmed entrepreneur who's neglecting his or her self care and their fitness. Again, logically they know they should be exercising. They've just built a block. They've attached their self worth and esteem to their outcome, their results, their business, their income that they've neglected themselves. So it, it's not necessarily their most suggestible and how. We could debate it on as to IQ level or fitness experience, but anybody who is trul aware of what it takes to be successful and committed to it knows that fitness is an integral foundational component. It's just, you know, my job like when I first meet with somebody interested in coaching, it's not just like hey, here's what I do. Do you want to work with me? It's, it's all about building rapport. Like I've, you know, I've got to demonstrate and build the know like trust. I also am interviewing them. Do I want to work with this person? Are they truly open minded coachable and committed and building that trust and having done this for so long, I can usually, you know, I just be me and I've started to really just attract aligned individuals who vibe with me so that it's accelerated. But through that trust building you begin to break down and diffuse some other mental defenses and that's what really leads. It's not Even suggestibility as much as, like, oh, like, you know, yeah, it is time to do this. This truly is very important. Let's prioritize it. [00:56:44] Speaker B: 1. I think it's fair to say that. Sorry, Q. I was gonna say, I think it's fair to say if you see someone like yourself that is in great shape, you're gonna be like, okay, that person shows up for themselves. That means they're probably gonna try to show up for me, Right? Yeah. And I think that. I think that goes a long way, too. [00:57:03] Speaker A: Yeah. And candidly, like, I agree with that. And I don't need them to show up for me. I only need them to show up for them. Like, you know, I'm not there to be their best friend. I'm a friendly guy. I've become friends with my clients, but I'm there to give them what they need, need, not what they want. If I kept giving them what they want, they'd have the same results they have now. So that doesn't help them. My goal is results. And, you know, I've developed through plenty of trial and error, a way to candidly, yet compassionately give them what they need and a blend of what they want so that they can get to the solution themselves and feel empowered in the decision making and the action taking. But when giving them the feedback about something they need to be doing that they're not, and there's friction and resistance. I just frame that as a learning opportunity. Why are you so resistant to doing what you know you need to do to get to the next level? And that kind of is confronting, and we get to dig into that, and then it becomes even more fun. [00:57:54] Speaker C: I know we're. We're top of the hour. Do you have a couple more minutes to spare for us, Paul? [00:57:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:57:59] Speaker C: Awesome. Awesome. I guess my. My question is, when you're. When you're speaking with somebody who's new, what are. What are some of the, like, variables that would exclude them from you wanting to actually work with them? Is it just they're stubborn or. Or like, what is it that you just don't want to work with? [00:58:15] Speaker A: Really? With my type of work, most people who reach out to me, I am in some way or shape a last resort. Because my work, as rewarding and fulfilling as it is, that reward and fulfillment don't come without the discomfort, the challenge, and the obstacles first. So a lot of the work that we do is uncomfortable. You know, I've lived and breathed it on the client end for going on eight years. So, like, I get it. I relate. I still do that work myself, so it's scary. It's intimidating at times. So typically, when people come find me, they're already aware of not only me, but there's just an innate, deep sense of readiness to surrender. They know they can't do it alone. They know they have to ask for help. They know they've got some. Some baggage to deal with. And you're never going to feel fully ready, of course, but they're more ready than they ever have been to start confronting what has been keeping them safe. Stuck. [00:59:12] Speaker C: Yeah. That's awesome. [00:59:13] Speaker A: Typically, I'll add too, like, when someone. If someone jumps on a call and, like, it's just clearly not a good fit. I haven't done my job either in. In how I've articulated or come across on social media or wherever they might have found me. And that's. That's falls back on me. I haven't done my job to be clear or to be. To remain aligned. [00:59:32] Speaker C: No, that's fair. No, that's absolutely fair. James, do you have any other questions, my man? [00:59:39] Speaker B: Yeah, I could. I could keep going, but I want to be respectful of this guy. This guy's time. [00:59:44] Speaker C: So my biggest takeaway is I'm gonna go and journal and try to find all my past traumas, and then I'm gonna make a therapy or a hypnotherapy recording. And, Paul, if I don't shave 10 strokes off my game, bro, I'm coming. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna come find you, man. I know you're in Tampa. [01:00:01] Speaker A: I'll take you out to my course anytime. [01:00:03] Speaker B: Hell, yeah. Yeah. Hell, yeah. [01:00:05] Speaker C: We've got a buddy in Tampa, so I think James and I are trying to make our way out there. So let me know. [01:00:10] Speaker A: We'll play. [01:00:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:00:11] Speaker C: Awesome. [01:00:12] Speaker B: Thanks so much, man. [01:00:13] Speaker C: Colorado. Yeah. If you come out to Colorado, let us know, man. It sounds like we all have a lot in common. We're all fitness guys and. Yeah. Into golf. So let us know if you're out here. Paul, it was an absolute pleasure, man. Thank you so much for joining us, brother. [01:00:24] Speaker A: Yeah, thank you both. This was a blast. I really enjoyed it. Yeah. [01:00:27] Speaker B: Yeah. And just where can people kind of find your stuff as well know? [01:00:32] Speaker A: Yeah, so I have a podcast called the Scratch Golfers Mindset Podcast, So I go live there twice a week. That's a great place to connect with just a ton of other bright, brilliant minds that I have the privilege of interviewing. I am active on Instagram at the Paul Salter and my website is the golf hypnotherapist.com. [01:00:51] Speaker C: Love it. You got a book coming out. [01:00:53] Speaker A: Yeah, so I got a book coming out that is. I don't know how much more time. We'll talk, but my long version is. Long story short is I wrote a book like 4 years ago ago when I was fully, fully done with nutrition on all accounts. And it was kind of like my way of saying, here's my gift to the nutrition industry. All I learned over these. At that point, 13 years. Let me just get it out of my head. And I literally did. It was like 75,000 words. It was about 90% done. And then I just stopped. Never finished it because I didn't even really know if I wanted to publish it. It was more for me. It was almost like cathartic and therapeutic. And then I brought it up to my. One of my current coaches, actually, and he just kind of called bullshit. He's like, why didn't you finish it? Why'd you settle. Enough. Why didn't you finish what you started? Like, you have this loop that is not closed in your mind. You're wasting energy. I can tell you think about it. On occasion. I was like, yep, okay, you're not wrong. So I finished the book. The book is literally in public. And what's the word of my for designed now to go onto Amazon. It's called the Sustainable weight loss code. 61 laws to keep the weight off for good. I think it's really good. Obviously I'm biased, but it also feels very rewarding to actually have it done. [01:02:01] Speaker B: Heck, yeah. I love it, man. I'm. I can't wait to dive deeper into your stuff. Obviously looked up your information beforehand, but really, really excited to kind of dig deeper, man. And I just love the. Love the message you're trying to preach, man, and the story you're trying to. Trying to help, you know, spread the awareness positivity. It's awesome. [01:02:21] Speaker A: Well, thank you, dude. I appreciate it. [01:02:23] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:02:25] Speaker C: Awesome. All right, gentlemen, thank you so much. Appreciate you, Paul. And we'll have to stay in touch because I think we're going to want another conversation with you, man. [01:02:33] Speaker B: I think. [01:02:35] Speaker A: Happy to. And then shoot me an email. I'll send you that hypnosis audio I mentioned. [01:02:39] Speaker C: I certainly will. [01:02:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:40] Speaker C: Awesome. [01:02:41] Speaker B: Thanks, Paul. See you, brother. [01:02:43] Speaker A: Later, guys. [01:02:43] Speaker B: Bye.